The sock

Let me just start this by saying, I love my family. I love my children, husband and all that is my life.....for the most part. I chose this path, the parenting full time, kid chasing, laundry doing, meal cooking, potty training, nose wiping path that is my life. Fast forward 7 1/2 years to the present...You know when you have finally reached that point in your consciousness where everything becomes a blur? Noises dull, vision gets fuzzy? Patience is reaching that very thin line between holding it together and LOSING IT! I am here, in this space about to lose it... over a sock.
I have always been good at keeping all the balls in the air, juggling with ease. Lately, due to health restrictions, over commitment and general all around craziness on my part, they are falling down around me. The casualties are of course my kids. While desperately trying to complete the all encompassing bedtime routine, I think for me it will be "death by sock".
Picture this, crazy disheveled mom running in and out of each child's bedroom trying to get them all dressed, washed, brushed and in their beds. Put one in, another comes out. Put that one in, the third comes out. I'm pretty sure at one point they were taunting me on purpose just to see how many times I would do it! This is the stuff that a Supernanny episode is made of. Trying to keep my composure, I tell the oldest boy "put your dirty clothes in the hamper". He is quick to comply out of sheer fear that I may lose it at any moment, "yes mom". While hearing the same question from my 3 year old for the 47th time I quickly tell my older son he missed a sock. Can you please come and get it? "yes mom". "Yes honey" I reply to my 3 year old again as he continues on his rant about when will he ever get to visit his dad's work because he has never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (you get the point) been there. I trip again over what seems to be the same toy that has followed me all the way upstairs (because I was tripping on it downstairs too) for what has to be the fifth time. I try to repress the incredibly vulgar word that is about to leave my lips and would clearly not be suitable for my little one's ears. While looking down at my injury I see that damn sock again! Really? How does he keep missing it?
And of course I choose now to try and solidify the lesson of following through on what mommy tells you to do. It would have been so much easier to just pick the thing up myself but if I do anything right tonight I WILL get some follow through! Bellowing at this point, "For the love of God, would you please pick up this sock!" "Yes mom".
Heading to my daughter's room, I use every ounce of strength I can muster to say a loving "goodnight" and give kisses. And of course I have to give the "I'm sorry" speech, "mommy is tired and lost her temper" yada, yada, yada. Home stretch people, I'm almost done. No more "I have to go potty, I need water, you didn't hug me, cover me please, I have a cough, read me a story, let me read YOU a story, Mom where do dinosaurs live?" I'm done, I can hear that glass of wine calling my name. I quietly close her door, an almost smile on my face because I did it . I managed to do the bedtime routine without completely flying off the handle. As I walk down the hallway I look down and next to the laundry hamper I see, wait, that can't be, I must be hallucinating.....the.... sock? "For all that is good and holy are you freaking kidding me?" How hard is it to complete the task of taking your dirty clothes all of 6 feet to the laundry hamper that is big enough to hold your whole body! It's not like you can't see it! You were sitting in it not 30 minutes ago pretending you were a hamster or some kind of rodent! That damn sock, sitting there, staring at me...taunting me...this rant of course is only going on in my head.
I calmly turn to my son and ask him very slowly "will you PLEASE finish what I have asked you to do and put your clothes in. the. hamper. PICK UP THE SOCK! ..."yes mom".

Whew, mama needs a vacation people.